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Choose Your Hard

Hard parenting days.

During the season of having three littles in three years, there seemed to be a lot of hard parenting days. It is challenging to even describe the emotions and fatigue and frustration that can take place in a day when you are constantly caring for multiple small children. In full, vulnerable transparency (vulnerability hangover will ensue after posting this), I would find myself fantasizing about life before children, remembering how “easy” it was, and contrasting it to how “hard” this season of life felt.

But then I would catch myself and have the following conversation with myself (read in lots of tone and emotion):

“Well, what’s the alternative, Leah???? To not have these 3 children you have been blessed with??? That would be an unimaginable tragedy. In fact, some parents have lived through the horror of losing a child. I am sure they would give anything to get a day back with their child, no matter how “hard” that day was. Some couples cannot have children. I am sure they would trade me places in a heartbeat. Remember to defer to grateful, Leah. Remember that you will miss these days when they are gone. Remember that it is all “hard” and you have chosen your “hard” so live with gratitude and joy in the midst of whatever “hard” comes with this new day you have been given to live. Tomorrow is never promised. Suck it up, sister.”

Yes, there are different levels and intensities of hard. I would never want to compare the trauma of real loss and grief to everyday, run-of-the-mill hardships. There is a big difference between the two, and I am exploring the latter in this post.

I do want to make the point that all circumstances, no matter how ideal or how challenging, come with their own set of “hard”.

It’s hard to have children.

It’s hard to not be able to have children.

It’s hard be an entrepreneur.

It’s hard to work for someone else.

It’s hard to be a stay at home mom.

It’s hard to manage wealth.

It’s hard to be broke.

It’s hard to be on time.

It’s hard to be late.

It’s hard to be married.

It’s hard to not find a spouse.

It’s hard to wake up early.

It’s hard to hit snooze and get a late start on your day.

It’s hard to stay fit.

It’s hard to be sedentary.

It’s hard to live an intentional life.

It’s hard to live sloppy life.

Adulting is hard.

Childishness and immaturity is hard.

It’s hard to work hard.

It’s hard to be lazy.

Choose your hard.

It is tempting to think the grass is greener on the other side. And it may be greener. Yet it will still be hard.

Always remember, when “THIS” feels really hard, “THAT” will also have another set of hard. The good news is, we all have the power to choose which set we prefer.

So choose your “hard” wisely and then own your choices.

The life we are all living is exactly what we have chosen it to be (or have allowed others to choose for us).

Defer to grateful. Choose your hard. We can do hard things.

You’ve got this, my friend.

xoxo, Leah

Below is a picture on Mother's Day 2017: very pregnant with my 4th and surrounded by my 3 precious littles. A hard, yet joy-filled season.

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Debbie Waldrop
Debbie Waldrop
Apr 07, 2021

I hear you. It is hard to have those you care for, that need so much time and attention, but when they are gone you feel the absence of all they gave to you in return. I enjoyed you kids when you were little and I missed the joy and laughter when it was gone. This season of home school and added responsibility is a new hard, but it will pass and soon we will not have that extra time together. Face the wind and hold on for the ride is fast, scary and a lot of fun along the way. Love you always💞

Leah Lauchlan
Leah Lauchlan
Apr 07, 2021
Replying to

Thanks for those words. I’m trying to hold onto these precious days with them. I know I’ll blink and they’ll be over.

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